Mango Coconut Vodka
DIY: @atasteofmadness
£2.50pp (Mango-89p, Water, Sugar, Coconut cream-£1.25, Vodka-£13.50, Orange Juice-£1.45)
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/10
I needed a cocktail that was healthy, refreshing and yellow. Kind of star struck by how it was exactly what I was looking for. It has that thickness that settles your entire nervous system and I sat on my friend’s bed feeling like a heavy mule. We watched ‘The Hunger Games’ as if we were members of the capitol crowd cheering at the front row. It’s so vibrant and alluring we didn’t see anything else accept this bright yellow joy consume our vision and we let it.
When I remade the drink, everything started going wrong and my blender from Temu couldn’t cut the mango, leaving me to try my Temu food processor which also did not work (You may think I’m sponsored or something but I never shop there, I just get gifted things from Temu because I guess people think I am that sort of person which only mildly offends me). Loosing all hope, I realised this was a drink worth fighting for and kept fighting. This is what cocktails should be like. They should be worth the 30 minutes you spend surgically removing the pip of a mango that is for some reason the biggest rock and the weirdest shape you could imagine. I am taking it easy after such an operation and will probably be back in action quite quickly because that yellow thickness got me feeling gluttonous.
We took it out for a walk and it felt like it was walking us. This one guy studying maths kept turning his entire body around every time I spoke because he definitely wanted the yellow substance in my cup but I played it cool and pretended he wasn’t looking because I’m not about to share 30 minutes of unpaid labour. Also, after so much yellow, I saw so much green. I don’t know much about the colour wheel but I feel like that holds meaning or something.
It’s chill and it’s not afraid to show that so I respect that three cups don’t even get me tipsy. It’s a solid choice if you want to see the world in a whole new yellow light, just be prepared to clock into your shift when you get the mango ready.